Oh No Karl!

I sit patiently in front of the Television, wearing the perfect red dress, something every woman must own, to amp up the sex appeal. As I sit patiently watching the minutes tick by, waiting for that crucial moment for fashion 2010 to start, it is not possible for me to be more focused. I wait to watch the Chanel runway show coverage on Ftv. Yes, yes, I know, I was not invited to the shows, and I must say that I was very offended. You will tell Karl that, wont you?

Anyways, as I was patiently waiting for the show to start, my legs started shivering, because I was so excited, yet nervous to see what wonder and beauty Karl would bring us this time around. It is Chanel, of course.

It started. Then suddenly, my eyes opened wide, my jaw dropped, and nausea crept over me. As I scanned the model trying to spot a trend, I spotted these horrendous shoes, that magazines and fashionistas report to be the new “it” shoe. This ‘it’ shoe has trickled down to the high street, with loyal followers such as fashionista Alexa Chung. I could not even bring myself to say the name of this new ‘it’ shoe; the sight was so horrendous, that I felt like I was being temporarily blinded.  

I spotted clogs; clogs on the Chanel runway, clogs that would make Mademoiselle Coco Chanel roll in her grave. A whole plethora of questions appeared in my mind. The most important being, “where are the reinvented versions of the elegant two-toned pumps?”

I was getting very nervous, but then I spotted a Chanel 2.55 bag, and I calmed down. Instead of bringing magnificence to the runway, Karl bought clogs. I believe that he has taken farm chic too literally. So I have to say “My dear Karl, please learn from the past, as I know that there was a brief spell in the mid-Nineties when clogs suddenly became fashionable, but please take note of the key word ‘brief.’”

Finally, I understand that stilettos do make a clacking sound, but the sound almost becomes sexy, however the clog makes a clonking sound, and you do not want to call attention to yourself in a ridiculous manner, do you?

Although, if you are Paris Hilton, you would.